Some days, life just seems to get in the way. Do you ever feel like that? Like right now. I'm sitting in my bed, listening to my girls talk to each other....nicely...and giggle...and did I say, they were being nice? While here I am, stuck on my computer...writing about my lesson on The Cask of Amontillado that I taught 8th grade English a few weeks ago. This is for my third to last class before I do student teaching in the fall. And all I want to do is cry. (...hmm..I hear an Etta James song coming on)
....Okay, back on track. In our over scheduled lives, I've become a tighta**. I seriously think there is a stick situated up my rear end half the time and don't know how it got there. I feel like, sometimes, I don't even remember what 'fun' is. Then I hear them giggle. I see the twinkle in my seven year old's eye when she wants something and knows how to schmooze her momma and daddy. I feel my four-year old's sweet hugs and hear her tiny little voice tell me "I love you most" (like in Tangled) and I see my incredible fourth grader announce the strings band's next song in front of the entire school like pro at her school's spring concert and then proceed to play the violin like a tiny professional violinist (although it can be quite painful to sit through an entire night of it). Then I look at my prince charming, tickling our babies and irritating the heck out of them and wiggling in his seat himself because he can't stand to sit in one place for too long. Then he 'tries' to whisper so the ladies who keep talking through every performance in front of him don't hear. And instead of shushing him and being annoyed, (which is my typical reaction) I let him be and I smile to myself and can see my blessings. I see the man I fell in love with who is an amazing father and balances me out completely. I may not be where I want to be in many ways, but I'm right where I need to be. We walked in to DQ tonight after the spring concert to spoil my little violinist a tad (because doesn't ice cream always soothe the soul?) and there was a man probably younger than me who walked in. He had lost both of his legs below the knee and had two prosthetic legs. They had military images on them, so I'm almost certain he must've lost them in service to our country. How blessed am I? I have three amazing, HEALTHY, smart, talented like you wouldn't believe, beautiful, kind, thoughtful, little ladies for daughters and one incredible husband. I live in a great country, have a nice home, little debt, food to eat and clothes to wear. Sometimes I forget. Sometimes I can't see the forest through the trees and can't see what's right before my eyes.
I think the hardest part right now is not being able to fully enjoy them because of the time constraints and pressures of school, topped with dance lessons, parties, work, yard work, house work...yada yada yada...you all know the drill. How I look forward to graduating and being able to just be mom. To just be able to hear my girls giggle and play nice, and instead of doing school work/
getting sidetracked writing this blog post I can just go join them, or eavesdrop and enjoy the blessings I've been given. Do any of you feel this way sometimes? (Minus the school distraction) I think my hardest thing at home is to remember to smile and not take myself too seriously. So instead of being a royal pain in the you-know-where I'm going to try really hard to smile. To laugh at my incredibly funny husband and to enjoy the time I do spend with them and be thankful, because they are truly remarkable children and I am amazed at their many talents and caring thoughtful personalities/characteristics. And at the end of the day, aren't they what really count. Thank you, Lord, for summer and for my family! We certainly need some quality time. I pray that I do a better job at this thing called motherhood.