Hmm...that word doesn't exist in my life. I know it should. I should have some time in the morning for just me. Just me and Him. Or a backup time at least..one that I actually make it to. It seems like the minute I wake up there's noise. Sometimes I hear the sweet melody that is my life, but other times, the times when I am feeling the pressure (which is a lot lately) it becomes noise. It's kinda like when you're driving your car and you have the radio on and you're listening to some pretty good music but then you realize you're lost and you need to concentrate. Well, the music somehow magically transforms into noise. It's getting in the way of what you have to do. That's what my life is like often. I lose my patience when I need to have some. Sometimes I wonder, is it all really worth it? I know it is, but I feel terrible for my babies and my sweetie. And the problem always comes back down to this....Quiet. I don't ever have it. Not the literal quiet in the house at all times, although that would help. But I mean the quiet that is just being able to sit down and have peace. The minute I lay my head to that pillow my mind doesn't stop. My mind isn't even quiet because all the thoughts of the things I need to do or WANT to do are running at high speed until I enter the land of Nod. Then...I wake up, and it all begins again.
That's what's missing in my life. To feel the warm hands of my Father surround me and give me peace. To tell me that it's going to be okay and that no matter how much chaos is in my life, I will be okay and I can handle it. He loves me and I love Him and know that without Him..all the beautiful melodies of my life become noise and I don't enjoy them the way he wants me to. Lord, help me enter into your Quiet presence and show You the gratitude I should for all my blessings.