Friday, July 6, 2012

To See or Not to See? That was the question. {Magic Mike}

So this past week I was having a battle with myself. It was the cartoonish Devil and Angel on my shoulders. On Tuesday, a bunch of ladies from my family were going to go to the movies to watch Magic Mike, a movie that is all the rage with the ladies right now. I mean, for days it was all I saw on the Facebook newsfeed. I'll be honest, I don't live under a rock and I am not a stone. I wanted to see it. Seriously. I can appreciate the attraction to a bunch of really hot men with no shirts on dancing it up on a stage...and the desire to watch...I'm only human. However I had a dilemma because on the other shoulder was my 'angel'. The part of me that said "Isn't this a double-standard to my husband?" Crap. Why do I have a conscience? So the angel continued her lecture "You KNOW if it were reversed and he was going with some buddies to watch a female stripper movie, would you let him? Umm...let me think...Absolutely NOT! So why would it be okay for me to go ogle men? Uh oh...In comes the little red devil..pitch fork and all..."BUT Channing Tatem is soo HOT and such a great dancer! Oh, and Matthew McConaughey isn't bad to look at either. It's not like I'm thinking about sleeping with them. Girls just appreciate a show, right? AND it isn't bad as 50 Shades of Grey...." Then comes the tap from my little white angel..."Listen Honey,You know your thoughts aren't going to be 100% pure and won't be about your husband. Isn't that right?" Uggh! Sometimes I hate being a Christian..lol (not really). {Now, I'm not going to get all spiritual on you, but if you want to see the spiritual perspective on the argument head on over to see what Melissa from MelissaJenna.com has to say, very insightful.} I'm no saint, don't get me wrong. Mad Men is my one guilty pleasure, and I have been known to have a glass of wine or sangria 3 or 4 times...per year. Maybe you'd call me a prude or extremely uncool because I don't like rated R movies or hearing the "F" word a million times, or nudity. I would much rather watch the TV version of a movie with all the dirty scenes and language bleeped out or blurred. Some people disagree and say I shouldn't even bother, but to each his own, right? Right.     
    
Anyway, I'm not trying to offend anyone in this day of political correctness. I'm talking from the perspective of my relationship with my husband. Ever since the first year of our marriage, we made a pact that we would not disclose which celebrities we were attracted to. What purpose would it serve but to let the Comparing Games begin? and it can't be good for a self-image. So for ELEVEN years other than the first two crushes we revealed before we thought better of it (for me it was Ricky Martin...I know.."Bless my heart for being so silly" lol and for him it was J.Lo) we had a clean record. We both lived in naive marital bliss. Until last year, when DH accidentally discovered two celebrities I think are hot: the guy on The Doctors (sorry I don't know his name) and Bradley Cooper. Well, let me just say he has used it against me (in a teasing way) ever since. Trust me, I have other crushes...um...Bruno Mars...lol.. So to make it a little more even, he had to tell me one too and his was Jennifer Love Hewitt. Okay, well I'm getting off on a tangent here. Let's get it together. 
     
So anyway, DH and I do two things (or at least try): we tell each other everything, especially when someone flirts with us, and we do NOT discuss who we think is hot, real or celebrity. Two rules that have helped us be very successful as a couple thus far. SO...when I mentioned that I wanted to see Magic Mike, let's just say...he was none too pleasedIt's kind of deflating to a man's ego don't you think? Knowing your wife is watching these guys that have bodies that you don't? Get nearly naked? He wanted to know 'Why?' Well, without sounding terrible, I couldn't really tell him. Why DID I want to see it?     There is one thing I always remembered from my childhood: I remember always seeing romance novels in the grocery store and maybe some of my moms friends must've been reading them too. I can't remember exactly. But I do remember that I asked my mom once why she didn't read them. Her response? "Well, because my love life is a lot better than those fantasies" or something to that effect. That stuck with me for some reason. Is MY love life better than those types of books? Why Yes. Yes it is. So needless to say, the same goes for 50 Shades of Grey. Adding "Mommy" to the word "Porn" does not make it okay. I don't watch porn ever, so WHY would I want to READ it?  So after the battle within myself, I came to the conclusion that it IS a double standard and does nothing positive for my marriage. I LOVE my husband and am very attracted to him the way he is. We have a great marriage and love life so what do I need to watch it for?

I like what Melissa Jenna said in her post 50 Shades of Magic Mike. " What if we invested our time and energy into spicing things up in our bedrooms? Rather than spending $12 on that movie, or the book, why not save the money, and instead, wear something sexy to bed, just because? And what if all the time that you would have spent reading 50 Shades, you instead spent making love to your husband?" (Melissajenna.com)

How true is that? Giving time to my marriage instead of fantasizing about it would be a better choice. So what's the conclusion? I am saying NO to the temptation. Yes the temptation is still there, because like I said, I'm only human. But for now, the angel on my shoulder won because I love my husband and the life I have. By the way...it made him feel good that I chose him over Mike. :) Sooo...what will you do? Do you and your spouse have any pacts like us? Or do neither of you have problems sharing your crushes or watching movies like Magic Mike?

Disclaimer: I am not perfect and maybe some decisions compared to others don't make sense. All I can say is I take it 1 day at a time and each decision I make I try to do my best to do what I feel is right. Some days are better than others and some days I live better than I did the day before. Whatever you do is between you, your spouse and God. :) Thanks for listening! 

4 comments:

  1. The guys in that movie are hot. I have a couple favorites in there. But I have no desire to see that movie. *shrugs* I like your reasons in your post - although if there was one with a bunch of hot girls that Matt wanted to go see I'd probably not care but I think women aren't as sensitive as men are to that ego thing. I mean some women are sure ...but it seems to me in general it's more of a guy thing to be a bit irked by women lusting for the "perfect male body" ... It's just not worth it to make them feel bad. Let's let the single ladies enjoy the show!!!

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  2. reply, yeah, I'd have a problem ha ha! But yep, let the single ladies go.. How've you been?

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  3. Hey Jess, it's Mom. Nice post! Yes, your father swept me off my feet 33 years ago and the romance has never ended! It's good that you have made that pact with your DH. One thing a marraige needs is mutual respect for each other and each other's feelings. Your dad and I never made a pact, but we just don't let each other know if we think another person is cute or beautiful or handsome--just out of mutual respect for each others feelings. I have complete and utter faith in my husband and know that his love for me is stronger than ever. I as well have no one else in my thoughts or heart-nor could I ever imagine finding someone who could possibly compare to him. We are truly "soulmates" and we were destined to be together always-and forever!!

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  4. Hey Jess, it's Mom. Nice post! Yes, your father swept me off my feet 33 years ago and the romance has never ended! It's good that you have made that pact with your DH. One thing a marraige needs is mutual respect for each other and each other's feelings. Your dad and I never made a pact, but we just don't let each other know if we think another person is cute or beautiful or handsome--just out of mutual respect for each others feelings. I have complete and utter faith in my husband and know that his love for me is stronger than ever. I as well have no one else in my thoughts or heart-nor could I ever imagine finding someone who could possibly compare to him. We are truly "soulmates" and we were destined to be together always-and forever!!

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